As I sit down to chronicle the path that your father and I are taking, I thought I should start with what I would say to you, dear child(ren). As you read these words, you may find yourself asking a lot of questions about how you came to be. Our journey together won't start out the same way as most of the kids at school, or down the street, or in these ridiculous things people call "play dates." Some kids you meet will have a story like ours, because as momma realized just last week, there are a lot of people out there like us, too. What I want you to know before we go any further is that you were loved before we even knew how you would come to us, and that we wanted you more than we even knew.
You see, parents who start their lives together are full of imagination and dreams and laughter for all they want to make a reality. Your father and I built you a big (ridiculously big) house because we always imagined having children that would fill it up, make it even louder than it already is, and to watch you grow up here--knowing what dirt and playing outside felt like. We started living our dreams with you in them before the first ounce of dirt was moved on this land, before the day we walked through the doors to spend our first night in your home, and in all the smiles of little children we have met since. Your father and I are completely and totally in love with each other, and have been since we became friends in 2007. He is my best friend, and I hope that one day you will know and find love as wonderful as I have found with him. Your father and I are dreamers, believers, do-ers and we live in a world filled with the dreams and laughter that we create. We are so blessed.
A couple of years ago we made a decision to try to have children, and though we weren't obsessed with becoming parents, or trying to the point of precision, after two years it started to seem like something might be wrong. Our neighbor referred me to a doctor, who started a bunch of tests, and gave your dad a referral to go get some tests done as well. Neither of us thought much about it, and figured we probably should just try harder. It was at the end of January that the doctor told your dad that he had a hormone level that was extremely high, and that because of that, it was very unlikely that he would be able to have children. A couple weeks later, that test was confirmed and we found out for certain that was no way for us to have children that were 100% genetically ours, probably because of a medical issue your dad had when he was very young. The doctor told him that there were three options for having children: do nothing, adopt, or find a sperm donor.
We talked and very quickly (the very same night), made our first decision: we absolutely wanted to have children. Then we made the second: we wanted to experience having children that were ours from the very beginning. That meant that we made the choice to have momma get pregnant another way. Our final decision was the only choice and the biggest decision that we have ever made together: we would look to create our family with the generous gift of a sperm donor so that you could be our child(ren).
Now, I know this might be confusing, and believe me, it was (and is) confusing to us, too. But what I will tell you is this...that night, we made a choice to do whatever we could to bring you in this world. I wanted a chronicle of our journey bringing you into our lives so that one day when you have questions and are looking for answers, that you will have them. I want to be open with you and maybe sometimes I will write things here that make you sad, or that you will read and then understand that it was sometimes hard for us. Making theright best choice is never easy, because there is never a right or wrong way to go about it. You just put your faith in your decision, you say a little prayer when you make it, and you learn along the way. Never forget: it's the journey of seeing your choice come to pass that makes everything so worthwhile.
Remember this, I never want you to doubt for one second--it was all worth it. Because, you my sweet child(ren), our sweet child(ren), are in every way the manifestation of the love your father and I have, and have always, had for each other. You are the reality of all of our hopes, all of our laughter, all our dreams, every silent prayer, and every wish we had and will have for you in your life to come.
I am 760122, I'm trying to become your mother, and this is your story of how you came to be...
You see, parents who start their lives together are full of imagination and dreams and laughter for all they want to make a reality. Your father and I built you a big (ridiculously big) house because we always imagined having children that would fill it up, make it even louder than it already is, and to watch you grow up here--knowing what dirt and playing outside felt like. We started living our dreams with you in them before the first ounce of dirt was moved on this land, before the day we walked through the doors to spend our first night in your home, and in all the smiles of little children we have met since. Your father and I are completely and totally in love with each other, and have been since we became friends in 2007. He is my best friend, and I hope that one day you will know and find love as wonderful as I have found with him. Your father and I are dreamers, believers, do-ers and we live in a world filled with the dreams and laughter that we create. We are so blessed.
A couple of years ago we made a decision to try to have children, and though we weren't obsessed with becoming parents, or trying to the point of precision, after two years it started to seem like something might be wrong. Our neighbor referred me to a doctor, who started a bunch of tests, and gave your dad a referral to go get some tests done as well. Neither of us thought much about it, and figured we probably should just try harder. It was at the end of January that the doctor told your dad that he had a hormone level that was extremely high, and that because of that, it was very unlikely that he would be able to have children. A couple weeks later, that test was confirmed and we found out for certain that was no way for us to have children that were 100% genetically ours, probably because of a medical issue your dad had when he was very young. The doctor told him that there were three options for having children: do nothing, adopt, or find a sperm donor.
We talked and very quickly (the very same night), made our first decision: we absolutely wanted to have children. Then we made the second: we wanted to experience having children that were ours from the very beginning. That meant that we made the choice to have momma get pregnant another way. Our final decision was the only choice and the biggest decision that we have ever made together: we would look to create our family with the generous gift of a sperm donor so that you could be our child(ren).
Now, I know this might be confusing, and believe me, it was (and is) confusing to us, too. But what I will tell you is this...that night, we made a choice to do whatever we could to bring you in this world. I wanted a chronicle of our journey bringing you into our lives so that one day when you have questions and are looking for answers, that you will have them. I want to be open with you and maybe sometimes I will write things here that make you sad, or that you will read and then understand that it was sometimes hard for us. Making the
Remember this, I never want you to doubt for one second--it was all worth it. Because, you my sweet child(ren), our sweet child(ren), are in every way the manifestation of the love your father and I have, and have always, had for each other. You are the reality of all of our hopes, all of our laughter, all our dreams, every silent prayer, and every wish we had and will have for you in your life to come.
I am 760122, I'm trying to become your mother, and this is your story of how you came to be...
